Wednesday, June 15, 2011

No Homo! 5 Actors I might be a Little Too Obsessed With.

Let me preface this by stating, I am a 100% secure heterosexual man (does a secure heterosexual man actually have to state it? If they write a blog like this, they might.) However, I’ve always been more interested in male actors than female. Boy, that sounds kinda sexist too. Sure, I can appreciate a good female performance, and they sure is pretty to look at, but even as a child it was the male performers that I followed and would watch movies for. That is until I discovered masturbation then actresses started playing a more pivotal role (but that’s a whole other thing.) Wow! That really sounds sexist. Ok, let me further preface this, by saying I’m not a sexist. These are purely movie and cinema related opinions. I’m definitely not a sexist I practically minored in woman’s studies in college. Sure it was mostly to get tail, but hey I got really good grades in the classes. I still got the term papers to prove it. Professionally, I've preferred working with actresses over actors overall (and not just because I sleep with a lot of them. That's a joke, I've only slept with like 80% of the actresses i've worked with). Seriously though, most of the best performances in my work are form the actresses. I also tend to write better female roles than male. Huh? Is that some kind of Freudian balance thing? Eh, who knows....

Anyway, here’s five actors (not all categorically “good” actors, but actors that I have what some may consider to be an unhealthy obsession with.

  1. Jason Priestly:  The king of eyebrow acting. Seriously, check out an older episode of 90120, any episode and watch this dude completely emote using nothing but his eyebrows. It’s breath taking. Seriously though, he’s actually a good actor. Like most of the actors on my list, he did his best work in things he’s not known for. His weakest work overall was on 90210234.  I defy ANYONE to watch Love and Death and Long Island and tell me that is not a complex, subtle and moving performance. He’s also good on Coldblooded, a cool little indie-hitman movie. Then there was his stint on True Calling and Jeremiah. I did watch 90120 throughout most of it’s run. I finally did quit in the final season after he left. But I stuck with it for almost 9 years, just for him. No homo!
  2. John Stamos. He’s actually probably my number one “hasn’t really done much good work but I’m still obsessed with actor.” I was never a full house fan. It didn’t move me at all. I didn’t care for him in it either. Then one day I caught this Tales from the Crypt episode. I forget the title, but it was a total John Woo’s The Killer knock off. With John Stamos playing this sleazy gigolo. All of a sudden I was like, “man, John Stamos is cool.” Then he didn’t really do much else. There was the short-lived Thieves and ER (prob. His best dramatic work) but, it was that one episode of Tales from the Crypt that forever made me a John Stamos fan. No Homo!
  3. Andrew Dice Clay: most likely the odd man out on my list. Not nearly as dreamy as the rest. Like Priestly a very underrated actor. I still freaking love The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (maybe it’s cuz I’m a raging sexist!). My 2nd favorite is Brainsmasher: A Love Story. I wrote about this more in detail in my Albert Pyunn director of the week blog. If you haven’t seen this movie, you should seek it out.  I never cared for his stand-up, but am a fan of almost all his dramatic work. No Homo!
  4. Grieko, Richard. What can I say? I like him on both 21 jump st. and his Booker spin off. But it was his feature debut If Looks Could Kill that did it for me. It’s a really funny, well made James Bond spoof. Sure he was a bit old to be playing a high school kid, but goddamn if it wasn’t the old college try and like I said, it was a damn fun movie. No Homo!
  5. Bradley Cooper:  Dreaminess personified. That’s all I got to say about him. No homo!


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